Zoned for Indoor Forts

I am imagining reading the following MLS entry someday soon:

For Sale: 1,100 sq. ft. Asheville bungalow. Features include 3BR, 1 bath, LR, chef’s kitchen, photography and video production studio, home school classroom, ballet studio, home gym, sun porch, home office, rec. room, library, home spa, bowling alley, indoor velodrome, home theater, coffee nook, secret reading places, zoned for indoor forts, man cave, she shed, safe room, art studio, home health care with quarantine area, plenty of pantry space, regulation whiffle ball diamond, indoor full court basketball arena and concert venue, non-denominational sanctuary, greenhouse, picnic and outdoor camping area, planetarium, and pet friendly. Serious inquiries only.